Friday, August 23, 2013
Author John Ortberg said, "God isn't at work producing the circumstances you want. God is at work in bad circumstances producing the you He wants."
I don't know about you, but for me, it is so easy to forget God. Although I have been told I have strong faith, I am the kind of person who relies a ton upon what she sees. I am curious and I like to know about things. Know, not simply believe. This is a fault of mine. I often forget that God gave me life, and I become so ungrateful.
But, I have great desires- desires that I feel are definitely righteous. For one, I would love to be married to a worthy man in the temple someday and raise an obedient family. For another, I want to pursue all types of education and expand my talents. Those are pretty general desires that I have always had, and I know that God approves. I wonder, though, if He approves of the specifics. You know, such as the exact guy I've got my eye on for the whole temple marriage thing. I ask, "Why, God? Why can't it just happen the way I want it to? I know that it will make me happy- don't you want me to be happy? Well then, make it happen!"
Then, I realize what a pain in the neck I must be to Him. I mean, I complain A LOT more than I have the right to. Yet being the loving and perfect father that He is, He always reminds me gently of what Mr. Ortberg stated so beautifully. If I can just let go of what I want and trust more fully in my Heavenly Father's plan for my life, I know that I will end up happy, even if- dare I say it- it's not with my current dream guy. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart," David said, "and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6) This is my super scripture right here! You know why I like it so much? Because I need it so much!
God DOES want me to be happy! And I need to trust that He knows me better than I know myself, and He knows what will make me happy.
Sometimes, we are so preoccupied with our own lives, our own desires, dreams, and needs, that we forget about who we are becoming in the process. We complain about the bad circumstances, thinking that God is trying to punish us for some misdeed we have committed, when it's quite the opposite. God is trying to shape us into better people, more compassionate, more understanding, more faithful, more trusting, more obedient servants.
Job said, "When God hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." I know that God's process of trying is a continuous one, that is perfectly tuned to each person's specific needs. I, for example, need to become more selfless and more humble; so He gives me opportunities to look at how I can help others or let go of my pride. These are opportunities that my neighbor probably won't have because his needs are different than mine. I can already pinpoint several specific experiences that have transformed me from an ugly piece of metal into a shining piece of gold-in the making. I'd like share one such experience with you.
During my fourth year in college, I was called as the Relief Society president in my single student ward. This was something I was not expecting, even though I had been praying for a calling that would help me to be an influence for good in others' lives. Well, ask and ye SHALL receive. Juggling being Relief Society president and full-time student, and not to mention being in a serious relationship simultaneously…. was quite the experience. I know that I often failed in what was expected of me, but I learned and grew so much from it all. I was, in a way, forced to think about others and not zone in on my own life as I usually do. I was also forced to put the things of God first in my life. On top of that, I gained more humility as I came to see that grace made up for everything that I simply could not do. Through this trial, I took one more step on my journey to becoming who God wants me to be. I have a new mantra that goes like this: I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
Wouldn't it be great if, rather than complaining about the bad things that happen in life, we could look at our situations and ask, "Heavenly Father, what do I need to learn from this? What do you want me to do here so that I can grow?"
Sometimes, we won't get an answer right away, but that's what the trying process is for. We might have to lean upon the scriptures every day. We might have to lean upon going to church every week. We might have to rely on our families and their words of wisdom. We might have to rely on losing ourselves in service to others.
And, through it all, we might just find ourselves.
By Erica Perry
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